Dating FAQ

What do men seek in women?

Men desire fertile, non-pregnant and faithful women. Women have a limited period of fertility, so men are attracted to youth, slenderness, beauty and chastity (Buss et al., 1990).

What do women seek in men?

Men exist in a dominance hierarchy. For long-term relationships, women seek high-ranked men as a primary consideration, and reliability as a secondary consideration. For short-term relationships, women seek only high-ranked men. A man's rank in the dominance hierarchy is correlated with height, muscularity, broad shoulders, confidence, symmetry, attractiveness, intelligence, wealth, income and willingness to take risks.

What do men want?

Men want (in order of priority):

  1. sex with many new, short-term partners, with the hope that other men will support their illegitimate children; and
  2. exclusive sexual access to a long-term partner.

What do women want?

Women want (in order of priority):

  1. a long-term provider/husband who will invest food and care in her children; and
  2. a high-status lover who can give those children first-class genes.

1) and 2) can be the same man, but a woman is only likely to achieve this if she is highly desirable (Ridley (1993) p. 244).

Do opposites attract?

No. J. Philippe Rushton’s genetic similarity theory (Rushton, Russell and Wells 1984; Rushton 1989) asserts that individuals tend to be more altruistic towards individuals who are genetically similar to themselves. A well-known phenomenon that is explained by the theory is positive assortive mating, that is, there is a greater tendency for people to choose a mate that resembles themselves in one more traits than would be expected by chance. However, too much genetic similarity between mates increases the chances that harmful recessive genes may combine. Van den Berghe (1983) speculated that the ideal percentage of relatedness is 12.5% identical by descent, or the same as that between first cousins. See also Lilienfeld, et al. (2010, p. 39) and the references therein.

What is the golden rule?

Ignore the golden rule (the biblical rule of 'do as you would be done by' (Matt. 7:12))! The West has been subjected to three recent bouts of feminism, the concept of which is unscientific and unsustainable. Do not over empathise: men and women are differently motivated, and assessed by very different criteria.

Why do men always lie?

They have no choice.

Can men and women be friends?

No. It would be a waste of time. However, it is in a man's interest to be seen to associate with attractive women. Women use the term 'friend' to refer to men as a means of communicating that thus labelled men are not of sufficient status for a sexual relationship.

When should men stop dating and propose?

See the secretary problem.

What are racial preferences in dating?

In a brilliant and brave piece of science, Rushton introduced his race evolution hypothesis (Rushton 1995) which uses r/K selection theory (MacArthur and Wilson 1967) to explain the persistent ordering of a number of traits exhibited by the following tricochtomy of races: Mongoloids (Orientals, East Asians), Caucasoids (whites, Europeans) and Negroids (blacks, Africans). Using Rushton’s hypothesis in conjunction with an analysis of the relevant literature led me to hypothesize the following. Men and women of all races exhibit same race preferences (Fisman, et al. 2004; Hitsch, Hortaçsu and Ariely 2006), although they do not find partners of the same race more attractive, so race-specific conceptions of attractiveness cannot account for these same race preferences (Fisman, et al. 2004). Women of all races exhibit stronger same race preferences than men (Fisman, et al. 2004, 2006; Hitsch, Hortaçsu and Ariely 2006). This is consistent with men's greater propensity to take risks and the fact that they are the less discriminating sex. Consistent with preferences for the more alike race, East Asians prefer whites to blacks and blacks prefer whites to East Asians. White men prefer East Asians to blacks (Hitsch, Hortaçsu and Ariely 2006). Men are attracted to youth and beauty in a mate. East Asians mature the most slowly, and they are also less permissive, so the man would have a lower risk of being cuckolded. White women prefer blacks to East Asians (Fisman, et al. 2004; Hitsch, Hortaçsu and Ariely 2006). Women are attracted to men with a high ranking in the dominance hierarchy, and blacks have larger genitalia, a more salient voice, greater muscularity, higher levels of testosterone and greater aggressiveness, dominance, self-concept and sociability, when compared to East Asians. See Rushton (2000).

Which are the most popular online dating sites?

Online Personals Watch: International Internet Dating Rankings
In a sense all social Internet forums are either dating sites (such as PlentyOfFish) or de facto dating sites (such as Facebook).

What should you say (and not say) in your first message on a dating site?

Online Dating Advice: Exactly What To Say In A First Message « OkTrends

Which countries have the most beautiful women in the world?

Sweden, Venezuela, Latvia, India, Puerto Rico and Lithuania (La Ruina 2007, p. 88; 2010)

Where can I find blond(e) hair?


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